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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27067768">Just Another Day In The Survey Corps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficDreamingAuthor/pseuds/TheFanficDreamingAuthor'>TheFanficDreamingAuthor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A random idea I got during class, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Erwin Is So Done, Family, Hange Is Having Fun, Insane Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 00:15:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27067768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficDreamingAuthor/pseuds/TheFanficDreamingAuthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Erwin put me down!"<br/>"No."<br/>"He deserves to die!"<br/>"I said no Levi."</p><p> </p><p>"Sometimes I wonder why I never killed you."</p><p>The Survey Corps have an unusual day. Levi is insane, Erwin is done, Hange is having fun, and the cadets want to laugh, but don't want their asses handed to them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi &amp; Erwin Smith, Levi &amp; Hange Zoë</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Another Day In The Survey Corps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a random idea I got during class on Friday and I know it is OOC, but enjoy this attempt at humor. I honestly have no idea where I was going with this or what I was doing, however, I do like it. </p><p>Enjoy this garbage XD</p><p>WARNING! Swearing because Levi is insane.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Erwin put me down!"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"He deserves to die!"</p><p>"I said no Levi."</p><p>"Ugh!"</p><p>Levi flops down on Erwin's shoulder, pissed at the commander clearly.</p><p>Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps, had Levi, Humanities Strongest, flung over his shoulder. Hange was walking right behind them, amused at the scene before her, and the cadets; Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, and Connie were walking behind the elders not knowing how to react. They don't remember the last time Levi was this talkative, dramatic, and under someone's orders (excluding expeditions and whatnot), but to Erwin and Hange, this seemed like usual behavior.</p><p> </p><p>"Erwin!"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Oh come on! You know he deserves death!"</p><p>"Murder is not part of today's schedule."</p><p>"Fuck the schedule!"</p><p>"Levi, I'm not putting you down until we get back to Headquarters."</p><p>They decided to walk through the forest instead of the village to not cause a scene. Besides, it was good weather outside, so no one was complaining.</p><p>"Listen eyebrows! You can even ask the cadets, they'll agree with me."</p><p> </p><p>Erwin stopped walking and turned sideways to look at the now frozen cadets: "Will they?"</p><p>The cadets began hesitating, unsure whether they should lie or tell the truth.</p><p>"Don't even think about lying."  Levi threatened: "Truth. Now."</p><p>With Erwin's assuring stare, they each gave their honest answer:</p><p> </p><p>Mikasa: "Yes, he deserves to die."</p><p>Eren: "Yeah..."</p><p>Jean: "He was being an ass..."</p><p>Sasha: I don't see why not."</p><p>Connie: "The answer is yes."</p><p>Armin panicked: "I don't know! On one hand yes, he does deserve it, but murder isn't good either."</p><p>Hange patted Armin's shoulder in reassurance: "Haha! Don't worry, Armin. I don't take either side as well."</p><p>"HA!" They all jumped as Levi exclaimed: "See! They agree...mostly! Arlert's in the confusion zone."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Now, will you put me down?!"</p><p>"No." Erwin resumes walking.</p><p>Levi gets aggravated, clearly confused about why he wasn't put down yet: "Sometimes I wonder why I never killed you."</p><p>"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me."</p><p>"That's a chance I'm willing to take."</p><p>"You'd be back <em>home</em>."</p><p>"I'm taking the risk just so you can put me-"</p><p>"You wouldn't have any tea~" Hange teases.</p><p> </p><p>Levi stops struggling as the realization slowly sinks in. His gaze moves from the back of Erwin's head to meet Hange's gaze. </p><p>The cadet's stared, they wanted to laugh but they didn't want their asses handed to them.</p><p>Levi opened his mouth about to repeat his last answer before Hange teased again:</p><p>"And no access to bleach nor windex~"</p><p>At that, Levi looked utterly offended, staring at Hange as if she stole his cleaning supplies herself.</p><p>The cadets honestly didn't know how to react to this unusual Levi, they wanted to laugh but they were also very confused, especially at how Erwin and Hange are taking the situation as if it was an everyday thing.</p><p>"How dare you?" Levi asked Hange, still offended: "For God's sake four-eyes! Can't you take my side for once?!"</p><p>"I don't take anyone's side during you and Erwin's 'fights'."</p><p>"Oh please! I know you don't agree with the old man."</p><p>"Old m-" Erwin cut him off: "-Levi you're thirty-four."</p><p>Levi immediately, without hesitation, elbowed Erwin on his head whilst replying defensively: "Shut the fuck up you sixty-year-old, eight-foot looking motherfucker!"</p><p>Mikasa, from the back of the group, held back a chocked laugh that thankfully no one caught.</p><p>Erwin sighed, but continued walking. Hange laughs behind her fist as Levi glared at the back of the commander's head.</p><p> </p><p>After a whole minute of more glaring and silence, Erwin spoke to himself out loud: "Why did I ever recruit you?"</p><p>"That's a wonderful question!" Levi said sarcastically: "I've never felt so honored! Answer that question for me, Commander."</p><p>"You were causing trouble. It was either me or the military."</p><p>"Well, because of today, I should have chosen the military-"</p><p>Everyone inwardly panicked until Levi said:</p><p>"-That way I could have killed him and the other bastards."</p><p>Erwin sighs once more: "Levi, for the last time: no murdering anyone!"</p><p>"Ugh!" Levi places his head on his palm, looking bored and annoyed: "You hate them too, why not?"</p><p>"Levi!" Erwin sounded so done: "I'll join Hange and ban you from tea and bleach!"</p><p>All went silent, Hange stiffled her laughs and Levi looked so utterly betrayed.</p><p>"I-Did you just-... How dare you?" Levi asks: "You big eye brow bastard!"</p><p>"Yeah, well this sixty looking old man isn't joking either."</p><p> </p><p>Levi pursed his lips together in annoyance before flopping his head down on his palm in boredom: "Fine! Freaking eye brows...should just shave them off when you're asleep." He mutters.</p><p>Hange lets out a laugh as Erwin lifts a brow.</p><p>Connie and Sasha couldn't stop the quiet laughs, Jean looked like a pufferfish about to blow as he tried holding back his laughter, Armin was carrying a shy smile as he pursed his lips together to make it unnoticed, Eren was looking around him unaware of how to react, but was greatly amused. Mikasa, however, had no shame in smiling big at the scene.</p><p> </p><p>Levi stays silent for another whole minute before glancing at Erwin's jacket. His eyes widened when he finds the jacket carrying blotches of dirt.</p><p>"...Erwin, when was the last time you and your clothes were clean?" He asks.</p><p>Erwin doesn't answer. Levi becomes shocked as the cadets brace themselves. The silent answer was too obvious.</p><p>"The fuck!" Levi yells: "No, no, no! Put me down!" Levi begins struggling: "Down! Now! If it isn't for murder, it's for the sake of me not becoming like you and your filthy self! Put me down!"</p><p>"Okay! Stop struggling!" Erwin puts Levi down quickly. When the captain was on the ground, he stood still and stiff. The cadets stared worridely at the man, his cheeks puffed out and he looked horrified.</p><p>In a flash, Erwin's jacket was taken from him. Levi walked away with the jacket, stomping and basically fuming. Everyone stared at him as he yelled back at the blond man:</p><p>"YOU'RE TAKING A BATH WHEN WE GET BACK! PUT YOUR CLOTHES IN THE WASH TOO! WHO AM I OLD MAN?! THE SURVEY CORPS' MOTHER?!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So? Thoughts?</p><p>Tell me what you think of this ... thing down in the comments.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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